Thursday, February 10, 2011

Spiritual parenting

I am an expert on parenting (what?) so long as the topic does not deviate from diaper changing and teeth brushing.  In all other things the what is best to do gets fuzzy.
So, I read.
And hope for the best.
I am currently reading through a book Spiritual Parenting by Hugh and Gayle Prather. I did not get out of the first chapter before I read something that got me chewing and thinking.
All the we teach our kids by consistently trying to correct them in anger is that we believe deeply in anger as the most effective approach to difficulties.  Is that what we want to model?...Parents who get angry with their children and won't give them a birthday present...who go for hours or days refusing to speak...these parents must remember that it is not now, and never has been, our heavenly Parent's function to turn against us. Likewise, it is not the parents' function to turn against their child.  It is the child's function to turn against the parent - if that is what happens.  And very often adolescents appear to do just that, even as we have so often rejected a God who doesn't reject us.  (author's bold, pg 5)
While at home during the day with 2 little ones, I keep circling back to the thought that if I correct this issue/moment/episode with anger is that the most effective approach? Am I modeling anger as a tool for problem solving?   Not that a 3 year old does very much to warrant anger - but at the end of the day when feeling tired and under siege from all the preschoolness it is necessary to guard our selves.  As an extension, this could apply to how we treat our spouses.

Do we believe deeply that anger is the most effective approach to difficulties?

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